Overcome social anxiety, depression, shyness, and panic attacks

7 Ways for How Not to be Shy

Gloria Goodwin's picture
7 Ways for How Not to be Shy

Shyness is something that can cause a lot of problems. It can cause you to not want to speak out in class which could potentially effect your grades, it can keep you from speaking up at work which can effect your job and it can keep you from having friends and the life that you truly want to have. Nobody should have to live with the fear of speaking to people or in front of people and that's why it's important to not let your shyness run your life and take over who you want to be. If you are a shy person and you want to learn how to be more outgoing and break free from your shell, here are some things you can do that may help you.

1. Be aware of your shyness

In order to overcome shyness, you have to know and accept the fact that you are shy and that it's causing a problem in your life. Don't tell yourself that your shyness is something that needs to be "fixed" because that makes it sound as if there is something wrong with you. Tell yourself that you want to be more outgoing rather than so withdrawn from all situations and social get-togethers. Make it clear to yourself that you're shy and you want to put it to a stop.

2. Ask yourself exactly how shy you are

Are you are completely terrified of talking to people or does your stomach gets all knotted up just thinking about having conversations with people? If so, you need to be honest with yourself. You have to understand how shy you really are in order to take steps into getting rid of it.

3. Prepare yourself

If you know that you are going to be in contact with people that you aren't used to being around, practice talking with them before you actually do. This may seem a little strange, but it can really help. Prepare some conversation topics that you are comfortable with and practice them. You can even look at yourself in the mirror, many people do this when it comes time to give a speech in front of large crowds and it can really help so it may be able to really help you when talking to just a few people.

4. Initiate a conversation

Go up to a person that you know but you don't know very well and start a conversation with this person. Ask him/her how they are doing or compliment his/her shirt. This will help you gain a little more confidence that you can overcome this shy factor and it will help you see that talking to people isn't as bad as you make it out to be.

5. Don't close yourself off from everyone else

If you're at a social get together or even just in the hallway at school, don't look as if you don't want people to talk to you or come up to you. When you see people, look them in the eyes and smile. It will let them know that you are more open to getting to know them and that you are noticing them just as much as they are noticing you. If you sit off to the side with your arms crossed avoiding people at all costs, nobody will want to come speak with you. They'll be afraid that you will just turn away and that you won't really care about speaking with them.

6. Get involved in more social outings

This may make you cringe just thinking about it but when you hear someone making plans to go to the mall or to have lunch, don't be afraid to ask to join in. Or if someone asks you to come, you'll most likely automatically think a quick "no" to yourself but you're looking to be more open and outgoing to take a second and think about it and try saying "yes!" more often to these types of situations. It will help you be more comfortable around people. You won't be able to overcome your shyness if you don't give yourself more chances to try being more outgoing.

7. Study others

Watch how other people interact on a daily basis, watch their hand gestures and even try eavesdropping to hear how people speak. Learn what you can do to be more like that while still being comfortable with yourself and in your surroundings. If you have a couple close friends that you feel totally comfortable around, ask them to help you. Have practice conversations with them and ask them how they feel so comfortable talking to other people.

You may even want to consider talking with a therapist, not that your shyness is a "problem" but it could be a symptom of what is called Social Anxiety Disorder and you'll never be able to function well in society if you don't learn how to really accept who you are and how to effectively deal with it. A therapist can help you better see what you can do to overcome your shyness and become a more outgoing and upbeat person.

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