How to Deal With Rejection in Five Steps

Everyone has to deal with rejection at different points in their lives. It could be a business proposal or a marriage proposal. It could be that your application was turned down or that your wonderful idea didn't just make sense to the board. Whatever it is, there's a way to go about it and become the better for it. Here are five steps for dealing with rejection...

1. Remember Your Past Exploits And Celebrate Them

One of the first things you should learn to do whenever you are rejected is to remember the many times you have been accepted. Pay particular attention to those big moments when you were picked ahead of highly exceptional people. Remember those times and refresh yourself with the emotions you felt.

Why should you do this first? You should because you won't get the best results if you allow yourself to be negative (And that's what wallowing in pitiful thoughts will get you into). Get yourself into the right frame of mind then you are ready for the next step...

2. See Rejection As An Opportunity To Become Better Or Get Something Better

Sometimes we get complacent and begin to let our high standards slip. See rejection as a wake-up call to raise your game. See rejection as an indicator that you still have some work to do. But what if you were rejected by a person (in a relationship)? See it as an opportunity to build a new and better relationship.

When you are rejected for one position, see it as an opportunity to get a better one. Do you remember the story of how Abraham Lincoln failed to win at all the lower stages in politics? But guess what? We all remember him as one of America's greatest presidents ever. He might never have risen to that height if he had been voted as a congress man.

3. Look At The Reasons For The Rejection Objectively

There are three points of view in any situation: Your view, the other party's view and the view of a neutral. Most people see things from their point of view only. That won't help you grow or become the person you really should be. You need to also look at things from the other person's perspective...

Let's say your proposal was rejected. Don't just sit down and whine about how they rejected your work because they didn't like you and try to ask yourself how you would respond if you were the one taking all the risks and had to pick the best proposal in order to ensure that your business doesn't sink.

This isn't something that you will find very easy to do without much discipline. But try it and you will see that you'll be able to appreciate the other person's response better.

Now, step aside and look at it as a neutral party. This will help you see what they did wrong and what you also did wrong. This gives you the complete view of the situation and makes you a far more balanced person. Do this any time you suffer rejection and you'll discover that they'll be fewer and your response to them will be far more positive -- After all, you'll then know better: You can see things from all perspectives.

4. Pick The Points You Need To Work On

Don't just stop at looking at things from the three major perspectives mentioned above. It's important that you learn from mistakes that stand out from that thorough evaluation. Did you present things in such a way that turned the other party off? Did you do a bad job of showing them what's in it for them? Where you too focused on what you wanted and NOT what they wanted (or what was mutually beneficial)?

Pick those points and commit to work on them. Become better at dealing with people.

If you discovered that you were rejected because you or your work wasn't good enough, then ask yourself what you need to do to become better. If most of us are true to ourselves, we'll agree that we could use a little more work in most areas (And so reduce the likelihood of rejections that are due to a lack of excellence).

5. Move On To The Next Thing With Confidence

Some people spend too much time lamenting about their mistakes (If they discover that their rejection had to do with them). Don't ever do that! Take steps to correct them but do move on with your life. You can't turn the hand of the clock backwards -- That's a fact.

Pick yourself up as quickly as possible. You were knocked down NOT out. You have learned how to do it better. Someone has rejected you; another is waiting to accept you.

Remember this: NO matter how good you become, no matter how excellent you are, no matter how hard you work at it, some people will reject you, your work, your person or what you stand for. Don't let that bother you because many other people will accept you. So move on with confidence. You have a lot of fans. Don't let them down by staying down. Get up. There are yet many rounds to go and victory is yours for the taking (That is, if you don't live in your past rejections).