Beyond Anxiety and Depression - loneliness

How to Overcome Social Phobia Forever and Live your Life

Gloria Goodwin — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 18:00:22 +0000

By being able to overcome social phobia you can then start to really enjoy life that bit more even if you will probably never be the life and soul of a party. However, slight improvements can mean the world to someone who suffers from this particular type of phobia and what follows are just some ways to start to overcome the problem.

How to Overcome Social Phobia

It may also be worth pointing out at the start that there is of course no guarantee of each approach working for everybody that suffers from it as recover is often quite a personal thing.

Using a therapist and cognitive-behavior therapy.

One of the most popular methods, if the person is able to actually do it, is to see a therapist as there are several options available when using a therapist. The main one is called cognitive-behavioral therapy and this is where the person with the phobia is gradually exposed more and more to it, but in a controlled manner, so they can see that they are indeed able to deal with various situations better than they initially believed. This can often reap fantastic results for a lot of people; however, there are other ways in which social phobia can be tackled.

The self-approach method and setting goals.

One of the best ways to actually overcome this particular phobia is by setting yourself small personal goals that will not cause you too much stress to achieve and do so on a regular basis. Look at writing down a list of different situations and how anxious they make you feel on a scale of one to ten and then start at one and work your way up. Once you achieve a goal it is important to then look at how you felt and compare it to the level of fear you felt beforehand as this will help to show you that you have actually done very well indeed and should be proud of your achievements as well as then taking some confidence from it.

Talk yourself out of the anxiety you feel.

In regard to social phobia it is often the case that so much of it is due to the mind creating a false impression of what is actually happening or is likely to happen in a situation. It can, therefore, be beneficial to think about various scenarios at the event you are concerned about and try to see how the chances of things going wrong are actually pretty slim. This preparation can then lower the chances of something happening due to your anxiety, but as with the goals method do look at starting off by focusing on smaller situations and build up to those including more people.

Learn a relaxation technique that works for you.

Spend time trying to find out what kind of things actually relax you and do them before you go to an event or situation that would normally make you feel anxious. People have been known to use things such as meditation or yoga whilst for others repeating certain phrases will help to focus their mind and just help to calm down the entire body as anxiety will increase your heartbeat, make you sweat and also affect your breathing. Due to learning how to prevent it from getting worse at the start you will be able to overcome social phobia itself over time.

Learn to look for positives and not just negatives.

Finally, a big problem with social phobia is that the person will often focus on negative aspects and forget about the positives. In a number of occasions they will also tend to even create the negative in their own mind as they expect it to happen, but by learning how to look for even small positives it will help them to start to overcome the phobia itself. With this particular method it really is a case of practice makes perfect and it will then become second nature. Those are ways in which you can start to overcome social phobia and then hopefully start to improve various aspects of your life. Whilst they are apparently relatively simple things it is important to state that for a sufferer it is a major step forward in just accepting that there is a problem and to even begin to tackle it so if this is indeed you, then by reading this blog you have started on the road to some form of recovery.

Take the Anxiety Test - it's Freee

Sign up for FREE membership and receive:

Information on Proven, Fast & Natural Recovery from Anxiety, Panic Attacks, OCD & Agoraphobia
Techniques to have your anxiety dissolve away leaving you feeling more in control and confident than ever before
Articles and newsletters to help you take control of your anxiety

Tags:

loneliness

overcome shyness

social phobia

Topic:

Social Phobia

5 Steps to Dealing with Loneliness

Gloria Goodwin — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 12:37:10 +0000

Loneliness is one of the most painful of human emotions, and one of the most common as well. It can be debilitating, strength-sapping, and crippling in its force and power. Unlike other emotions such as anger, despair, or frustration, it is difficult for a person who is experiencing this feeling to exhibit it to others - we know what an angry person looks and acts like, but what about the one who is lonely?

Dealing with Loneliness

Fortunately, even for the shy and socially anxious among us, it is possible to combat this very human but negative emotion, given a desire and a will to do so. Here are a few tips on how to deal with loneliness.

1. Spend time in a crowd

From time immemorial, those who suffer from loneliness and those who work with those sufferers have recommended a dose of humanity. It may seem counter intuitive, and we have many times heard about the phenomenon of being lonely in a crowd. But unless you are completely withdrawn and in need of a hotline, going to a crowded mall, a zoo, or any other place where people congregate can be extremely and quickly therapeutic. Watching, listening, strolling, connecting in this situation is a source of energy that heals. Humans have an aura about them that is amplified when they get together, and the person suffering from loneliness can use that energy to make himself or herself feel better.

2. Make and be a friend

There are people at work and in other situations that you might be in who could use a friend - but you have to be able to reach out to them. For the socially anxious person, this is not an easy task, but the payoff is enormous. If you are in an environment that allows it, a simple hello or an innocent question can be the launching pad that will take you from being strangers to being friends. The simple act of communicating with other people will raise your endorphin levels, making you feel more human and less isolated, and who knows - it could lead to a date.

3. Go to church

Modern Christian churches, mosques, synagogues, and temples are places where people who have similar beliefs go for many reasons. What used to be a place strictly for worship has turned into a quite different kind of place in many instances. You don't even have to be of the particular faith of the place of worship to be welcomed for camaraderie and companionship, because most of these places are eager for new attendees, no matter what their initial purpose may be. By the time you find out or admit that you just can't agree with the spiritual path being presented, you may have made a friend and conquered that sense of being alone.

4. Join a club

Whether it's for sports, books, theater, music, or any of a thousand other interests, humans love to get together and talk. By seeking out a group that offers a chance to be with others with similar interests, you increase your chances of making your loneliness a distant memory. Most clubs or groups that are focused on a particular topic are very easy going, and you can practice overcoming your shyness while you are working on the loneliness problem too.

5. Work on yourself

As we often hear, if you don't love yourself, you can't expect to be loved by anyone else. A willingness to work on self improvement and to make an investment in your own well-being are extremely important for dealing with loneliness. Only by making real efforts and being absolutely honest with yourself will you be able to deal with the problem of loneliness. By making a commitment to a path that takes you into uncharted and sometimes uncomfortable waters, you are practicing self love. When you do this, you attract other people who can sense that you are a person who is worthy and deserving of love and companionship. Dealing with the feeling of loneliness is one of the most difficult and complicated things that we can do for ourselves. Because most lonely people are anxious in social situations, they find it hard to put themselves in experiences they need for growth and improvement. By practicing these steps for dealing with loneliness, you'll be on your way to a happier, more fulfilling future.