Overcoming Social Awkwardness

Gloria Goodwin — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 12:38:32 +0000

Some people are naturally meant to be social butterflies. They are great with speaking in public, can make friends with anyone and are good with conversation. Those people normally don't have any issues with being in public. This isn't true with the large majority of people, though. Some are socially awkward and don't know how to communicate with people or keep conversations going.

Steps to Overcoming Social Awkwardness

The good news is there are ways to overcome this and find a new way to be more social!

Step 1. Talk to more people

Even if you're talking about something simple, talking with people you don't know is a great way to become more social. Go out and have short conversations at bars or at sporting events. Once you do this more often, you are going to get a lot more comfortable with it. You can even start off by having some online conversations. While these won't be the same as real life situations, you can still figure out which subjects you might want to talk about. When you do start talking to a lot of different people, you will learn how to be more personable and interesting. Even just watching how other people respond to different situations can teach you a lot. This is going to be difficult for some, but will get easier with time. Anyone can have a short conversation with a stranger!

Step 2. Smiles and eye contact

Making eye contact during interaction is very important. This doesn't mean staring someone down, it simply means acknowledging them. Looking at someone every few seconds will show that you are involved with what they are saying. If you're just looking around the room all the time, they will quickly become not interested with talking to you. Smiling is something you can do with anyone. See someone on the street? Smile at them! You don't even have to speak with a person to smile at them. The best part about this is that it makes you look friendlier. That smile you put on someone else's face will also carry on, so a lot more people will be smiling because of you.

Step 3. Eat with other people

The best time for conversation is over a good meal. If you're used to going out and eating by yourself, try something different. Ask friends out to eat with you so you can have a conversation during the meal. You can talk about the food at first and then move onto different subjects. Since there are a lot of things to talk about this can reduce the amount of awkwardness you feel.

Step 4. Gain confidence

When you feel more confident about yourself, you are bound to be less socially awkward in no time. Confidence comes in many forms, so choose which you want. This could be getting a new outfit or hair cut so you feel great with the way you look. It could also mean asking someone out on a date! When you have confidence, the anxiety about social situations can seem a lot less of a challenge. Don't let yourself have negative self-image thoughts. Try to be more positive with the way you view yourself and your abilities to make friends.

Step 5. Reduce the pressure

You don't have to have an amazing interaction with every single person you meet. Sometimes it will be something quick and easy, then you move on. Learn from any of the mistakes you make and always try to improve in the future. Never go into a social situation thinking that you have to be perfect. Just go with the flow of things and have some fun! When you stop over-thinking situations you are going to have a much better time.

Step 6. Find conversation topics

Before you go out, think of different topics you can talk about. This will arm you with fun things you can discuss with different people. It will also mean you possibly avoiding generic conversations about the weather. Once you get rolling with a topic, more things should come up naturally. Try to ask questions so you can get more out of a topic and make it more fun. Talking about horses could lead to stories about childhood hobbies or even stories of friends, you never know what might come up. Being socially awkward isn't the end of the world. Once you gain confidence and learn how to read people, it will come naturally. You can meet a lot of great people when you're more open to speaking with them.

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Social Phobia

Anticipatory Anxiety Explained

Gloria Goodwin — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 01:02:07 +0000

Every human being is engineered to feel anxiety and fear when he or she is about to face a situation that has scared him or her in the past and has caused a feeling of vulnerability. It could be flying on an aircraft, addressing a crowd or a group of people, or going out with someone on a first date. Most people have experienced fear in such situations, and this fear is regarded as anticipatory anxiety by the experts. Our body prepares for the event in a number of ways. Sweaty palms, upset stomach and racing heart are three of the most common symptoms experienced by people having anxiety. Our body is programmed to anticipate and expect the worst. Therefore, it prepares itself to get out of dangerous situations. Anticipatory anxiety is part of that preparation process. The major problem is that we feel anxious even if we are not in a dangerous situation at all. Feeling anticipatory anxiety in such cases is no doubt undesirable, and with better understanding of anxiety problems, we can easily limit their harmful effects on our life.

Anticipatory Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Every person on this earth has anticipatory anxiety at some point in his or her life. An individual doesn't have to have anxiety problems or psychiatric anxiety disorders to experience it. Nevertheless, anticipatory anxiety is reportedly a major component of panic disorders. According to the definition, people with panic disorder experience panic attacks that consist of the classic anticipatory anxiety symptoms and side effects. Some of the most common signs include:

Shortness of breath
Rapid heartbeat
Upset stomach
Dizziness
Cold chills or Hot flashes
Tingling or Numbness

Sometimes the physical symptoms related to panic attack are so intense that the person experiencing them feels like having a heart attack. The first panic attack for people with panic disorder is totally unexpected. However, after the first panic attack the individual feels constant anticipatory anxiety because of the fear of having a second attack. The same is true for people having different phobias. They experience anticipatory anxiety about the thing they fear the most and do everything to keep away from it, even if it requires them to drive across the country to pass up travelling on an airplane.

Anticipatory Anxiety Symptoms

Anticipatory anxiety might be persistent if you find yourself thinking and worrying about something for days or months, such as losing a career in a declining economy, losing a loved one, etc.

Symptoms associated with mind: Besides feeling fearful and anxious, you might also experience the following:

Anger
Hopelessness
Confusion
Numbness
Loss of control
Sadness
Irritability
Moodiness
Guilt
Preoccupation with the fear

Sometimes the person is so preoccupied by the anticipated threat that he or she cannot concentrate or make rational decision despite of trying very hard. If you are experiencing persistent or chronic anticipatory anxiety, you are most likely to discover that you are retreating from people in your life and things that you used to enjoy. You can also have problems regarding your memory.

Physical symptoms: Some of the physical symptoms related to anticipatory anxiety include:

Tense muscles
Stomach problems
Headaches
Changes in appetite
Alteration in sleep patterns
Fatigue

Managing Anticipatory Anxiety

There are various ways to cope with anticipatory anxiety. Some of these methods include:

1. Imagination

Mostly, anticipatory anxiety is a result of fear of future. Therefore, the best way to get rid of it is by admitting that we are unable to predict the future. Any situation we imagine is nothing but a fabrication and speculation. Picturing positive outcomes and being optimistic about your future can significantly reduce anxiety.

2. Dialogue with yourself

Mostly, people with anticipatory anxiety tend to ask themselves questions, like "what if I get fired?"" what if I get lost?", and if you find yourself wondering the same things, stop thinking at that moment and take a deep breath. Consider the possible positive outcomes. This technique will help you immensely in controlling your anxiety. If you are still unable to relax, distract yourself with things like movies, music, exercise and puzzles.

3. Mental Health

If you have chronic anticipatory anxiety, it is better for you to seek professional help. There are countless treatment options offered by mental health care providers.

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